Philosophy

Every lifter is a philosopher between sets. Most of them are bad ones.

As a graduate of Appalachian State University with a degree in Philosophy and Religion, it is only fitting that I have a section dedicated to philosophical apparel. Whether you enjoy the musings of Kant, Aristotle, Descartes, Plato, or Thomas Aquinas, I think you will enjoy the 21st-century words of wisdom expounded by Mediocrates, Assticles, Passivitis, and others. Their teachings are printed on heavyweight Comfort Colors tees so that their wisdom may finally reach the people who need it least.

Mediocrates, Philosopher of Being Mediocre. Author of the treatise "It's Fine, Probably." Mediocrates held that the good life lies exactly in the middle, that 60 percent is passing, and that any set you finish is a set you did. He was asked to lead the Academy and said he would think about it. He is still thinking about it.

Assticles, Philosopher of Squatting. Founder of the Depth School. Assticles taught that the unexamined squat is not worth doing, that half a rep is a full lie, and that the true measure of a person is the distance between their hips and the floor. His single surviving fragment reads: "Know thy depth." Scholars believe the rest of the scroll was used as chalk.

Passivitis, Philosopher of Passive Aggression. Best known for never once asking anyone to move off the squat rack and never once letting them forget it. His complete works consist of sighs, a note left on a bench, and the phrase "I'm sure you're very busy." He died as he lived: waiting, visibly, for his turn.